Divorcing spouses might see divorce as a getaway from adverse circumstances. But for the children, it is the separation of their parents and a significant change in their home life.
Children experience plenty of negative emotions as their parents go through a divorce. While helping them cope through the proceedings is the best way to lessen the impact of their life, it is also crucial that parents help them adjust to their new life.
1. Maintain their routines
Often, the most significant change in a child’s life after their parents’ divorce is the moving out of one parent. While the separation is an inevitable part of a divorce, it’s best to minimize other significant changes in the child’s life. As much as possible, maintain your kids’ routines by employing the same bedtime, mealtime, and other things that they are used to.
2. Allow the child to be with both parents
Let your children spend time with both parents. Even if you don’t love your spouse anymore, understand that your children love both their parents, and it’s their right to spend time with both. Consult your Colorado Springs divorce attorney whenever you have questions about shared custody rules.
3. Reassure your child that it’s not their fault
Children can be quick to believe that it’s their fault why their parents divorced. They might think that it’s because of their behavior, performance in school, or general existence that caused mommy and daddy to split up. These negative thoughts can cause children to act out or withdraw, so make sure to reassure them that the divorce is not their fault.
4. Don’t spoil your kids
The guilt that parents feel after a divorce might cause them to indulge their kids as a way of making it up to them. Some parents even spoil their kids to “one-up” the other parent as a means of getting back at them. In both cases, it can have adverse effects on your children’s way of thinking, more so their level of discipline.
There’s nothing wrong with treating your kids from time to time. It’s an excellent way to help them heal from the divorce. But make sure not to overdo it.
5. Encourage them to talk about their feelings
After the divorce is done, make sure your kids can communicate their feelings with you. It seems like that the worst is over after the divorce is finalized, but negative emotions can get worse for your child if you don’t openly talk about it.
6. Never talk bad about the other parent
Even if you feel extreme hatred and anger for your former spouse, never talk bad about them in front of your kids. You don’t want your child to be confused about which parent to side with, and who to believe; a child should never have to pick sides during and after a divorce.
Divorce is hard for spouses, and even more so for the children. Fortunately, you lessen the negative impact on your children and help them cope after the divorce.