Nobody gets married with an end in mind. The marriage vows that a couple takes at the altar concludes with the profound statement “Til’ death do us part”. It’s believed that a couple who chooses to marry can only be separated by death, but what if they decide to get a divorce?
Divorces are messy and stressful. No matter how much positivity you try to inject into the situation, being separated from someone you once loved enough to marry can get really ugly. Not to mention, when one gets divorced they’d have to arrange child support here in Santa Fe, NM or around other places.
Then there’s the court hearings, child custody, and other things to be arranged.
After everything is said and done, things can get bleak for someone who just got divorced. If you’re someone in a similar situation, here are a few things you should bear in mind to get through this tough time in your life.
This is a Chance to Reinvent Yourself
Marriages or relationships, in general, tend to end because we become the worst versions of ourselves. Even though getting a divorce can be devastating at first, the process of healing can be an opportunity to change our attitude completely. Think of it as a clean slate of some sort.
The divorce can be a catalyst for change in your life, and now you’re free to do whatever you please.
Accept What You Feel
Nobody likes dealing with unpleasant emotions. However, the last thing you should do is try and ignore what you truly feel. Yes, it’s essential to try and be positive during such a stressful time in your life, but it’s also ineffective to be unauthentic with what you truly feel.
Let yourself grieve the loss of a treasured relationship and let yourself feel all the emotions attached to that loss: sadness, apathy, confusion, longing- basically every known emotion to humankind. The more you bottle up your feelings, the more likely it is that they’ll get the best of you.
It’s perfectly valid to feel a myriad of things during the period after your divorce is finalized and you’re under no obligation to feel a particular emotion.
Look Forward to Better Days
Divorces can often seem like the end of the world for most people, which is understandable because it kind of is. A relationship that has built up to become our family (whether or not there are children present) can be the center of a person’s world.
Having that relationship end can be tougher on most people, especially if they didn’t expect things to end in a divorce. After the divorce is finalized, it should be your mission to plan out what you want to do. Trying a new hobby or even going on a trip somewhere you’ve never been to can give you something to look forward to.
During this time, it’s also ideal that you take a break from all the stressful divorce-related things and decompress your emotions, including the bad ones.
You are Not Alone
During the dark times in our life, it’s almost too easy to isolate and try to deal with things on our own. After getting divorced, it’s crucial that you find time to reach out to your friends or accept all the support your loved ones are trying to give you.
It may seem counterintuitive but surrounding yourself with a reliable support system who can help you through this tough time can make things much more bearable.
Things end even if we never envisioned them to. The most important thing when going through a divorce or any stressful event is to try and be strong without denying ourselves of our right to grieve.